Living in constant fearrrr?

soo long story short I used to be a performer for most of my life. I was in a ballet company and I was into acting, doin plays commercials etc.. I was harshly critized in ballet many times eventually getting to me. I dont do either anymore and live in constant fear of being judged, I had to quit ballet bc i was too nervous of messin up I forgot how to dance, couldnt act bc id freeze. I am living a miserable life, im in college strugglin to make it thru, i survive with my xanax, im on prozac been on every other med out there I have a drinkin problem as well but hav been sober for a while now. I just hate it im never going to be normal again im always on edge and filled w anxiety even tlkin to one person. I mean i went from performing in over 100 shows to not even being able to talk to one person!! what the heck is from w me i need help!!! anyone!?!?!?