Ask Mike: Addicted to lip balm?

It's well doented that the makers of lip balm add trace amounts of heroin and nicotine to their product to keep people addicted. They don't add enough to give the user a feeling of euphoria, but just enough to make them come back for more. Also, their packaging has subliminal messages in it, urging the customer to purchase more. They should all be sentenced to a million years in jail, and be castrated.